Robert's Journal: Even More Things I Think I Think

First, it has been a very insane 9 months, beginning with my trip to the hospital in September of last year. Three more trips after that, I think I am finally back on the road to recovery. The best doctors in town, a very loving - and patient - person by my side and several (only a handful, but that's enough) really good friends watching over me as well.

And with that 9 months, lots of time to think. Think about what's important, and what's not. Think about people, some of whom are so caught up in their own self-importance that they somehow manage to forget, in that old phrase, who helped bring 'em to the dance. Some of whom who will openly criticze others yet when their life falls apart want others to come to their rescue. And the moments, over the last 10 or more years in this crazy biz when I also fit those two descriptions.

I think about those individuals who, even this day when I am finally heading in the right direction, to whom I would like to direct a comment or two. And would have more than 9 months ago. But no matter what I would say, I am sure that they would neither understand it nor even listen to it; in fact, should they even read these words, I doubt if they would recognize themselves as a part of it, or care. To them, I simply hope that they will not have to go through, in their personal life, the hard realities. But, regretably, I think that they will. It's something about the choices that we make. And why I am doing everything that I can to close this chapter - and keep it closed. It's entirely too easy to revert back; the hard work is setting a new course and keeping to it.

I think about what's in front of me. I have had wonderful discussions with several models who have been patiently waiting for the ol' man to return to his trade, camera and rope in hand. A few have offered to come in as one of those naughty, fetish nurses. I think I am feeling better when I begin to seriously consider those offers.

And, last - at least for now - I think that the ol' man's mischevious smile has finally returned. And you, dear reader, if you enjoy what I produce, will also be the beneficiary.

Happy National Hairball Day

RD



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